


save her from herself

by packrat



Category: Killing Eve (TV 2018)
Genre: 2nd person POV, F/F, Gen, Not Happy, being lonely and craving for someone to be there, my 10 am “I just woke up” thoughts, talks about sex but not really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-13
Updated: 2020-07-13
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:29:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25239268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/packrat/pseuds/packrat
Summary: tonight is a bad night
Relationships: Eve Polastri/Villanelle | Oksana Astankova
Comments: 6
Kudos: 42





	save her from herself

You’re tired. 

You’re tired of it all. Of the fantasizing about her and of the waking up without her next to you. And you’re tired of so many other things. Running, killing, being you and not being you. But mainly that she’s not where you are. Right now. Ever.

You want that, you think. You think about that every morning. That you want that. Waking up next to her. Holding her and the unbearable warmth of two bodies sharing a bed and her hair all open and wild and messy. Yes. You want that. Even the used up air in the room after a night spent together. You want it all.

Sometimes you want her to hold you. These thoughts only occur on the nights you feel especially alone. When you think about the fact that you have no one to fall back on. These nights you want to be held by her. And pulled close. You want to be able to feel her breath on your skin as one of her arms slips under your head and the other over your midriff. You want to feel her pulse in your back as she pulls you even closer. You want that. To be held and feel safe and not as alone.

You also want the sex with her. You want to fuck her and show her all the ways she has missed out with not being with you. You want to taste her, worship her. But tonight is a lonely night so you want to be taken care of. You want your mind to quiet, to calm down. You want her to take the reigns and you want to relinquish your need for control. You want to tell her that she is on top and you want for her to touch you everywhere, her hands everywhere, every touch burning your skin and you want her to choke you a bit, not too much, until everything gets kind of hazy while she touches you however she likes. Maybe she will tell you what she wants you to do and even calls you a good girl for laying still and not fighting her. It makes you all bubbly and warm inside right now. Only the thought of someone telling you that you are doing well. You like doing well. Being good. 

But you can’t tell anyone about this. Will never tell anyone about this. Especially not her. 

You have never felt as alone as you do tonight. The bed is especially cold and feels huge, like a sea with you drowning in the middle of it. There are no cries for help. Because there is no one who would help you. 

You look at your phone to check the time, just after 5 am. You haven’t slept yet. And now there is no point in doing so, now that the day has started. You move to put your phone back on the night stand but hesitate. You’ve had her number memorized digit by digit since she’s given it to you the last time you... worked together? Yes, you suppose that’s true. Since the last time you worked together. And you never used it again. 

You’re not sure it’s a good idea, an idea you should have had in the first place, or at all, ever, but tonight is a bad night. And all you want is not to feel alone. 

So you call her.


End file.
